People from Ibiza

DEPARTURE AND ARRIVAL IN IBIZA

We left from Verona airport on 2 September at 22:30 after a six-hour delay (the first of many misadventures) with destination Ibiza. At the airport, while waiting to check in the suitcases, we met the first two hotties; during the holiday these two would change boyfriends a couple of times, but one of them whenever she saw us would always come and talk to us, a great regret not having tried it on.

After arriving at one in the night at the hotel that hosted us, we do a lap of the block just to understand where we are and we meet the first inhabitant of Ibiza. He offers us some weed, we undeservedly refuse. Night lost in a bar getting drunk thanks to happy hour.

Day at Playa den Bossa, a beach near the hotel; what a quantity of chicks, girls with signs sponsoring the discos, but how much pussy. Crazy night at the Privilege disco (€30 but worth it): fireworks and performances by a group of acrobats inside the gigantic venue. Return from the disco in an illegal taxi (€30 instead of 12 for the regular one) because the bus that was supposed to take us back to the hotel wasn't there.

Day at Playa den Bossa beach and evening in Ibiza. Tour of the city: lots of people on the street, lots of chicks; beautiful girls and transvestites who stop you to get you into the bars. Walking and walking, at a certain point we find ourselves on a street with only men sitting at the tables of the venues, we quickly get out of that street, the name of the street is "calle del paradiso", to be avoided. First impact with Ibiza, a strange feeling and even a bit of fear

Very pleasant day with a boat trip to a small island near Formentera, stunning emerald green sea, ate paella and sangria. Evening at Playa den Bossa in a pub with a small underground disco and there we go trying it on with the waitress (hot) who even offers us drinks.

Day at Playa den Bossa, walk on the beach and off racing with the water scooter (you can use it without a licence, I recommend it). Back at the towels Matteo remembers he left his Armani sunglasses (authentic) on top of them, never found again. Night at the famous Amnesia disco to see the very famous Troia Assassina, €40, disco packed and at 6 as vocalist there's a transvestite, the worst money I've ever spent in my life. Returning from the disco to the hotel I get held by the arm by a beautiful prostitute who was offering herself and I told her "sorry I have no money left, I spent 40 euros to see a transvestite".

Day at the beach and a relaxing trip to the hippy market, a bit disappointing. Evening in Ibiza port, we went to a bar with a masseuse. Night at the Privilege disco, we had found a ticket for 10 euros with a drink.

LAST DAY

The last day was the apotheosis, I’ll remember it forever, a classic Playa den Bossa day, we go into the water and there are 3 girls topless playing near us with a ball, it seems like the plot of a movie. After a bit of shyness and with the little English we know, we ask to play with them. We discover, picking up the ball, that inside there is a cock, then we play on the beach poker with cards featuring dicks, and we go back to playing in the water, here Matteo even goes into the sea with his cell phone. The girls were 3 Dutch, two sisters who had a sex shop in Amsterdam and a friend of theirs, a student. We spend the afternoon with them laughing and joking, and we agree to meet at a bar in the evening.

Coming back to the hotel from that exhilarating afternoon, we stop at a shop to buy a bottle of Bacardi and a box of condoms ready to use them that evening, absolutely convinced we would take the girls to our room. We show up at the appointment, but nobody shows up (the most serious mishap), we make fun of each other a bit, oh well, we go to Bora Bora, a free open-air club near the meeting point. There was an English-Dutch party, “blonde people,” there we also see a sexy dance by two lesbians and we even make fun of a girl. Shortly after, maybe out of pity or because we made her laugh, a girl gives us free entry passes with a drink included for Privilege.

We settle once again for that club, a quiet night first on the dance floor and then sitting on a low wall outside the venue talking about Venice with a very hot Polish-Canadian girl, who had been sitting next to us with her boyfriend and friends.

RETURN DAY

Return day: we ask our friends for addresses by sending an SMS: “Matteo saw some pussy and went into the water with his cell phone. In the phone he had all the addresses, if you can send me yours,” so we could later send postcards of nude women only. On the bus taking us from the hotel to the airport, we notice there were more gays than straights, but all nice guys anyway. The return flight was taken without delay and the next day straight back to work.

UNFORESEEN EVENTS NOT MENTIONED

- At Verona airport, for departure, the suitcases that had just been wrapped in plastic were opened and checked by customs officers. - At Verona airport, again for departure, the soaps in the carry-on luggage were held back. - On the last day at the hotel in Ibiza, the air conditioner in our room broke; it was my fault, I left the air conditioner on at 10 degrees all day.

MORAL OF THE STORY

The story with all these highs and lows of pussy and bad luck is funny and true anyway. From this adventure I recognize myself in classic Italian films: those of Rocco Siffredi, lover of pussy, and those of Fantozzi, where bad luck always finds us. I hope someone has read this summary of the story and maybe wants to comment on it or tell me theirs. Maybe I’ll write a comedy about it, thanks, bye.