Tenerife, What a Disappointment!

Destination Tenerife

An hour of flight and the second part of our vacation can begin. Hard to say but we arrive earlier than expected and so we have to wait a quarter of an hour for the guy from the car rental at the arrivals area. And yes, this time Holiday Autos has "drawn" a renter different from the usual ones, Orlando Rent A Car. The name says it all and since they don't have an office at the airport we have an appointment with one of their representatives at 4 pm in the arrivals area of the airport. The weather isn't nice but we'll learn to get used to it: northern Tenerife has a very different climate from the southern coasts. More arid and dry in the south, more humid and rainy in the north.

Moreover the airport is located on a hill that is often shrouded in the mists that descend from Mount Teide, a volcano that with its 3,718 meters of height is the highest mountain in all of Spain! Strangely punctual, the guy from Orlando arrives. He fills out the forms leaning on the counter of a bar (!) and then leads us into the airport's underground parking lots to hand us the keys to our car: a red Renault Clio. He explains nothing about the car and leaves, telling us three important things:? we had ten minutes to leave the parking lot without paying (he had paid for us)? on return we should leave the car keys in the mailbox that had been installed on an Orlando van inside the airport, not forgetting to also insert the parking ticket!!!? The car is on reserve so once out of the parking lot he tells us to rush to get gas along the highway.

Of course he points out that we are free to return the car on reserve and not with a full tank…as if we'd do otherwise!! Having said this he leaves and 3 minutes had already passed!! At least he left us a map of Tenerife. We load the luggage and exit the labyrinth of the parking lot…I think we made it by a matter of seconds before the 10-minute deadline! We take the highway that leads toward the capital Santa Cruz and then head for the autopista del Sur toward our final destination. We realize that the name "highways" couldn't have been more appropriate: there are 4 lanes for the part leading to the capital of Tenerife and two lanes plus the emergency lane for the southern highway. They're all free but very busy. The 120 km/h limit is respected by no one and you'll find cars glued to your rear at unthinkable speeds.

A bit like our highways! We fill up at the first gas station and I also check the tire pressure since I have the impression of having 4 flat tires. Instead of being at 2.2 they're at 1.5!!! I start to wonder if the rest is ok since I hadn't had time to check and after the check this was the sad report:? The radio antenna was missing so it was impossible to listen to music except with your own CDs? The car's instruction manual was missing? But even more seriously, the registration document was missing!!!? The car's interior was full of sand? The rear wiper was unusable due to the worn rubber? Despite being a 1.2 engine, at full throttle and without air conditioning I barely reached 120 km/h Luckily there was the spare tire!! I must say, rather resentful, I set off, with the promise of making a formal complaint when I return to Italy.

Our final destination was the Green Park Resort in Golf del Sur in Costa del Silenzio between El Medano and Los Cristianos. About 100 km from the airport. In about an hour we reached the vicinity of the island's second airport, Reina Sofia (Queen Sofia). 4 km after the airport we exited in the direction of the coast and headed toward the Golf del Sur area. It's a huge complex, hosting dozens and dozens of residences and hotels of every kind and type. The main attraction is the 18-hole golf course located in the center of this area. The second attraction is the airport where dozens and dozens of flights land and take off every day (unfortunately at night too!). We enter the complex and rather easily find the Green Park, well signposted.

From the outside it seems like a nice complex, with three pools, restaurants, pub, bar and various shops and services (laundry, bookstore, supermarkets, etc.) At the reception a girl of about twenty with not much fluent English tells us the room isn't ready yet, they're cleaning it! At 5 in the afternoon!!?? Whatever, we take advantage and take a tour of the resort and discover it's really very large, with hundreds of mini apartments with kitchen areas. After about half an hour we go back to the girl who hands us the room key, the infamous 112 on the first floor. We go somewhat fearfully, almost aware of the tragedy that was about to unfold..we open the door and the mini apartment is rather spacious but the hygienic conditions immediately appear compromised.

Everything is dirty, the bathroom is post-war Italian style and almost unusable, the kitchen likewise, and the sleeping area hides one last, unacceptable hazard: the sheets aren't clean but used by previous guests!!! Despair overwhelms us but my girlfriend takes charge of the situation and goes down to the reception where in a mix of Italian-Castilian-English she tells the girl that the sheets and pillows must be changed immediately! She, not very surprised, tells us she would do what she could and would provide us with everything necessary. At 7 we pick up the sheets and change them (ourselves) while for the pillows and pillowcases we have to wait for the arrival of the security guard who has the keys to the storage room. We go for a walk and by car we reach the end of the complex toward the sea.

In fact the sea is about 3 km from the resort and it's certainly not thinkable to reach it on foot. Very disappointed, we add further dismay about the sea..there's no beach, only rocks. We walk for several hundred meters in search of a small beach, even of black sand, even of dirt, but nothing! all inaccessible rock! We are practically on the verge of tears when we return to the resort. After several ordeals (getting pillowcases was not easy) we at least manage to have a toiletry kit for the night, CLEAN! Having achieved the primary goal we decide to go away from there to eat something and try to recover. We head toward Los Cristianos, a famous seaside resort on the island, together with Las Americas. Los Cristianos is about 10 km from where we are but when we arrive it's already dark and we don't see the sea.

If you're expecting a small fishing village then forget it: it's a crazy urban agglomeration, with 10-15 story buildings, shopping centers that would make Carrefour envious, areas of shops and restaurants Rimini-style. It's an indescribable chaos of cars and people: finding a spot in the center is a hard task.

The first disappointments

Unfortunately the first night passes almost sleepless. We discover that the nearby Reina Sofia airport is practically open all night and charter flights from all over Europe arrive and take off at any hour. Only toward the end of the vacation would we start to get used to it. In the morning we go to the bar at the resort's pool and have an English breakfast. Having requested about 20 variations to the standard menus (!) the poor waitress gets flustered and we end up paying 2 € for a continental breakfast!! Aware of the blatant error we decide not to go there for breakfast anymore to avoid being recognized!!! We ask the guy at the reception for some advice on finding a bit of beach and he directs us to Playa de la Tejita in the municipality of El Médano. It's just a few kilometers away (about 4-5 from the resort) heading north.

The landmark is obviously the airport and a large red peninsula (Punta Roja indeed). The beach is enormous (we'll discover it's practically one of the largest on the whole island) and the sand is black, since the island was formed by the Teide volcano that dominates the landscape in the southern part of the island. There's a strong wind and keeping your towel on the ground is almost impossible. The beach is nevertheless equipped with sunbeds and umbrellas (fixed straw ones). Each rented item costs 2 €. We skip the umbrella and take two sunbeds positioning ourselves almost facing the sea. It's Sunday and there are lots of people. The sunbeds are taken independently by the bathers. Every now and then a little man comes by who makes marks on the sunbeds and asks you for money. By checking the various marks he understands whether or not you've paid.

At the end of the beach toward the north there's a small beach about a hundred meters long where nudism is practiced almost obsessively. The spectacle, compared to Fuerteventura, is almost desolate since dozens of naked bodies packed together fight over a few dozen meters, almost flaunting a cult of exhibitionism. Before this little cove there's a bar that offers refreshment to bathers with drinks and sandwiches. The day is beautiful and we decide to spend it all on the beach. Swimming is rather fun because of the big waves even though the water is rather chilly. The tide also plays some nasty tricks here, since suddenly two tsunami-style waves almost sweep away those who had ventured with sunbeds and towels too close to the shoreline.

You have no idea the laughter this apocalyptic scene caused among those who frequent the beach regularly! Luckily we didn't put on a show but only by a matter of centimeters! At lunch we refresh ourselves at the bar. The sandwiches (gigantic and made to order) cost 2.5 €. The offerings are varied: from lomo (grilled pork) to tortilla espanola (a potato omelette) there's truly something for every taste. Drinks at fair prices and an ice-cold can of cerveza. In the afternoon we visit the nearby village of El Médano. In the Lonely it says "rather sad town with a fairly beautiful beach suitable for windsurfing enthusiasts."The truth lies in the first and last part of the description. The fairly beautiful beach, dream on, much better the one at la Tejita. The beach is rocky and above all tiny.

People crowd into the small spaces where there are no stones and the windsurfers are right on top of you..near this marvel we sit in a zumeria where we decide to enjoy a nice fresh fruit juice! It's the Zumeria Sotavento. A nice juice of your choice, even with a mix of several fruits, costs 2.9 €. It's worth it both for how good it is and for how big they are! A young Italian guy serves us who has been living there for six months! Incredible how Italians adapt to any place!! At the end of the day we return to the complex and even though it's Sunday we start looking for a supermarket to do some shopping and above all buy products for cleaning our apartment. We find one open 7 days a week from 8 to 23 and there we buy everything we need for our one-week stay, at least as far as drinks and breakfast are concerned.

Of course we also buy lots of cleaning products including sponges and scouring pads. When we return to the residence we're faced with an unimaginable sight: in the corridors our English friends have the habit of leaving garbage bags outside the door, waiting for the cleaning ladies to take them away! Imagine in the summer heat of the Canaries, in these long enclosed corridors without windows, these giant black bags and what a stench they spread through the air..of course the cleaning ladies, who certainly aren't paid to be trash collectors, leave these bags to "rot" until the smell becomes almost like that of a decomposing body and the pitiful management sends someone to remove them. We spend the next two hours cleaning everything, but really everything. In the end the sanitary fixtures turn white again and the kitchen becomes usable again. The cutlery becomes usable as do the pots.

This cleaning, we'll discover over the following days, allowed us to get our sheets and towels changed almost every day! Why? The cleaning ladies are evidently used to a public of English barbarians, who, as we all know, aren't exactly lovers of hygiene in the absolute sense…so given the result of the cleaning they kept the standard of our accommodation decent. This, however, does not authorize me to recommend this horrible dump to you!Between a cleaning and a restorative shower, we run late and dash off to Playa de Las Americas which is a couple of kilometers from Los Cristianos. There are an enormous number of venues, fast foods, bars, beer halls and nightclubs. We have a bit of trouble finding parking also because it's not exactly easy to get your bearings. In fact, regardless of the map you have, the street names don't exist, or rather they're given by the hotels you find there.

So Avenida Marriott is because there's the famous hotel of the American chain! Incredible, everything is artificial and more and more we miss Fuerteventura. We stop along the street of the nightclubs and since it's very late we go grab a kebab on the fly and take a walk. We're really exhausted, we look at the time and discover it's 2 in the morning!! There are lots of people around (not only young ones, to be honest) who seemed like it was 10 o'clock, we turn around and go to sleep.

Fun at the Acquapark

Given the disappointment with the beaches and the sea, we decide to enjoy a relaxing day at the Aquapark. We immediately get into the mindset that there will be lots and lots of people but we prefer to go on Monday rather than wait for the weekend or the Wednesday discounts when we think there would be much more crowding. The Aquapark is in Costa Adeje, just past Playa de Las Americas. If you're staying in a hotel you'll find (ours had it too) that the park provides a free bus service that takes you there and brings you back. The park opens at 9:30 and closes at 6 pm but we were already there at 9. And you won't believe it but there was already a line! In half an hour we manage it and after paying the daily admission for the modest sum of 22 € per person we enter the park.

Of course it's a good and proper extortionate setup and to get a locker we have to pay another 3€ and for the sunbeds??? Another 3 €!!! The park is very large and the attractions are sincerely fun. I'm not a big frequenter of water parks but this one seems really big to me. There are rides for all tastes and all ages. There's even the possibility every half hour to take a mini scuba course under the guidance of an instructor. There are lots of people and lines of even half an hour start forming to do any ride, whatever it is..the heat soon becomes irresistible and the sight of young English people completely sunburnt in line under the sun, I must say, is rather hilarious, even though I realize I'm a bit of a masochist! Watch out because for a couple of rides you need to have a small raft or a ring.

If you want it "personal" for the whole day you have to pay another 9 € and since we really didn't feel like it we discovered that with a particular rotation system there are nevertheless little rafts and rings available to everyone. We managed to do all the rides with the aforementioned system and saved 18 € which is not exactly little. In the park there's also a dolphinarium and there are two shows a day with the dolphins. We decide to go to the 3 pm one and since it's 1 pm we try to eat something. All the kiosks inside the park are stormed and then the prices..for a greasy, greasy hot dog they ask 6.5 €..like Piazza di Spagna for a paper cone of roast chestnuts! Then we remember that right in front of the park there are several outdoor Scottish, English, Irish pubs..but surely, we tell ourselves, the prices will be better.

We get a pass to re-enter and go opposite the entrance where we enter the terrace of a Scottish pub and eat a gigantic hamburger with a mountain of french fries. Dorada beer in a frozen mug and we spend 12 € for two! Take that, Park management! We go back in and rush to the dolphinarium for the show. Watch out because the seats aren't numbered and once the stands are full access is closed. This means that if you find some despicable individuals who want to see it twice, you risk not seeing it at all! So as soon as the loudspeaker announces the show, run at breakneck speed to the dolphinarium. Also because the show is truly worth it..very beautiful! It lasts about half an hour and you'll discover what these lovable animals are capable of. Yes, I know it's very sad to see them in a tank and we had the same feeling at the Miami Dolphin in the U.S.A.

but the trainers really seem attached to these animals, and one tries to forget this umpteenth circus willed by man. At 6 pm you're literally thrown out of the park and if you don't hurry you won't even manage to take a shower! Then everyone into the traffic to get out of the maze of little streets that lead to the highway. It seems like any August Sunday in Rome, queued up heading to the sea.. In the evening we decide to trust our Lonely Planet to go eat a traditional Spanish cuisine dish. Between Los Cristianos and La Playa de Las Americas, inland, several typical restaurants are listed. But we have difficulty finding them because in this part of the towns the street names are given by the names of the residences and often there are no street numbers..in the end we find the area, the places are packed.

We ask the waiter how long the wait is and he rudely tells us we have to wait..yes but how long??? Dunno, we ask another one if we can give our name to get in line, since there are so many people waiting, and he candidly tells us there are no lists..the list is self-managed by the people waiting. Ask who's last and you're after them!!! Is he crazy?? After ten minutes we have confirmation that we'll never eat because the line isn't respected (the Spanish are unfortunately just like the Italians in this and in other situations that are really not gentlemanly..) and so we take off and leave. By chance on the parallel street we find another place called Asador Castellano. Of course there's no address and it's not even shown on the receipt given at the end of dinner.

I'll leave you a phone number anyway if you want to go 922-750273 The place is nice with a beautiful terrace overlooking the parking lot unfortunately. But the area is quiet, the staff pleasant and the Spanish cuisine is as Spanish as the patrons. We study the menu and also ask them for a recommendation and we take a pulpo a la gallega (raw and marinated with lots of spices) and a Piena Lecha for two. It's an enormous portion of meat..they bring you a leg of pork (I think) baked. Delicious but really too much!With a water, a beer and a coffee we spend 45 € for two. Keep in mind also another thing: in Spain you always pay a cover charge, sometimes VAT isn't included in the prices (and fortunately in the Canaries it's only 5%) and bread is paid for at a steep price! We paid 1.8 € for one portion, a real outrage also because they certainly don't bring you a whole loaf!

Island tour

We take a tour of the island to verify for ourselves what instead the guidebook and the various forums didn't say: namely that the island has no beaches and above all no beautiful sea. We leave early with the autopista del sur and head toward Santa Cruz.We often leave the highway to go to the coast and verify the existence of beaches every time the Lonely guidebook or the map we received from the rental company indicates their presence. But we're more and more disappointed: in reality what are marked as beaches are real dumps, other times they're 10-15 meters of volcanic sand with dark and not at all inviting sea. Moreover, since these places are off the most beaten tourist routes, all the island's inhabitants flock there, who obviously wouldn't even dream of spending a day at the sea on the southern beaches crowded with hordes of barbarian tourists.

The hygienic conditions we see in the various towns toward the north are nothing short of dilapidated: these villages along the coast often don't even have fully paved roads and filth is in every corner. Shortly before Santa Cruz we turn onto the Autopista de Norte for La Laguna with destination La Orotava.The heat is making itself felt and every time I turn on the air conditioning of the junker I'm driving I can't go more than 80 km/h. One has to consider that much of the road connecting Santa Cruz to Puerto de la Cruz is uphill and so… La Orotava is a pleasant little town on the western coast of the island. Free parking is practically impossible. We go to the underground parking lot located near the Iglesia de San Augustin and for 3 € we leave the car in the cool. We take a walk in this charming town, the day is breezy and the altitude we're at (about 400 m) makes the walk pleasant.

The most interesting thing to see are the typical houses of the island, some of which date back to the 1600s. The most famous is the Casa Molina (also known as Casa del Turista) where you can take a free visit (at least on the ground floor) see the cloister and make purchases of small handmade souvenirs. We go to eat at a place recommended by the guidebook called Bar-Restaurante Tapis at Avenida José Antonio 6.The bar is rather large and the two ladies who run it are brisk but friendly. The sandwiches are all made to order and you can request them practically however you want. The price you'll pay is ridiculous: two sandwiches and two Coca Colas cost us 6.20 €! We continue toward Puerto de la Cruz and cross immense banana fields. Shortly before reaching the city we find a banana plantation open to the public.

It's called El Guance and you pay 7.5 € to enter..we strongly advise against it but if you want, go in. Besides the banana plants that you can anyway see for free all over the island, there are dozens of plants and fruit trees that you'll rarely be able to observe on the island. Mediterranean pineapple plants, cocoa plant, etc. There's also the possibility of tasting the famous banana liqueur and of course buying some souvenirs.If you want to buy this typical liqueur this is the place for you, also because all over the island we haven't found places where they sold it for less. Anyway a 750 ml bottle costs about 7 € (at the Puerto de la Cruz airport I saw it for 15€!). There's also a video projection in several languages explaining how you can grow a banana plant and harvest its fruit directly in your home garden.

In fact, banana bulbs are sold so you can plant them wherever you want (if you live in Bergamo, good luck..the temperature must be constant at 25 °C all year round!) Around 4 pm we arrive in Puerto de la Cruz. The town isn't bad, it has a picturesque center but when we get to the sea..well, not a trace of a beach. The local kids even swim in the rocky part of the town, having fun with the big waves crashing on the rocks. Some hotel facilities have natural pools filled with seawater..so you swim in a pool pretending to be at the sea. Continuing south you find Loro Parque, one of the island's major attractions, as the advertising you'll find everywhere says. It's a park with different types of birds and other animals. Again in this case the entrance ticket is affordable..about 25 € to enter the park for a day.

We decide to skip it but in front of the Park entrance we find La Romantica beach! About 100 meters of black sand, nestled among the buildings of Puerto de la Cruz, with nice big waves and of course those 3-4 thousand bathers trying to gain a square meter of livability both on the beach and in the water. We continue south to another spot marked on the map for the presence of a beach. We promise ourselves it's the last time we deviate from the route to see a beach. We find ourselves in San Juan de la Rambla. Here, not a trace of a beach..so we stop at a travel agency along the road and ask, since we might have taken the wrong road. The lady who runs the agency is very kind and explains that there are no beaches on the island, in the sense that we mean.

The only ones are in the south, where the large clusters of tourists are, while the only one in the north is just above Santa Cruz, but totally artificial (we'll later understand what she meant by this definition!) The beaches that the map (and also the Lonely) indicates are only small spaces of land or volcanic sand that have been generously included in the count of the island's beaches.Then seeing our disheartened look she asks where we're from..we say we're from Rome and that we come from Fuerteventura and she immediately tells us that if we're looking for the sea and beaches then we have to go back there!! We set off again, it's now late and we head toward another tourist-seaside spot on the island, Los Gigantes. But this time we're not deluding ourselves about finding a beach. The road connecting Puerto de la Cruz to Los Gigantes climbs for dozens of kilometers.

The car struggles terribly on these heights and I form a nice line behind me, but honestly I really can't go any faster. The spectacle before us once we pass the climb is beautiful. There are two immense mountains that drop sheer into the sea and in between the two clusters of Los Gigantes and Puerto de Santiago. The name "Giants" these two promontories truly deserve, they're so big and imposing.A beautiful sunset, even though the spectacle behind us is that of dozens of multi-story buildings, capable of housing thousands of people. Nothing characteristic. Puerto de Santiago is nothing special either and of course the beach with its fascinating name, Playa de la Arena (what nerve) I won't even describe to you. When we arrive

Los Cristanos and the English guests

We have decided to spend the day lying in the sun doing nothing. We are a little tired, we still have many kilometers to go and we don't want to return more tired than when we left. We therefore decide to go to the southern?beaches?, and we take a look around to see which one between Las Americas and Los Cristianos might work. First of all, it's almost impossible not to rent an umbrella or sunbed. There is also a free section of each beach for swimmers but the crowd reaches levels like?Rimini? in August?so we immediately cut down to renting the necessary. We opt for the beach in Los Cristianos called?Las Vistas?, because it is larger and less crowded than the one in Las Americas. Let's say right away that the color of the sea certainly doesn't invite nice swims but today we really don't want to complain.

The beach is well kept, clean and super organized with showers, public bathrooms, disabled access, and lots of offerings of any kind of water fun. First of all, the rental of the umbrella and the sunbed cannot be separated. That is, if you wanted to rent only the deck chair (because maybe you hate the shade) you can't do it. The deck chair goes with the umbrella and each piece costs €3. Umbrella and two deck chairs total €9. Not cheap but it's doable. The establishment closes around 6:00 PM so don't think you can stay longer since at 6:00 PM sharp all the cleaning activities of the beach and shoreline for the next day begin. If you get bored you are spoiled for choice: jet ski, paragliding, canoes, pedal boats, sailing boat trips, etc. etc. Don't hesitate: if you don't find your favorite sea activity just ask and it will be offered to you.

Everything is possible and everything has a price though! Jet skiing costs €40 for 20 minutes (€45 if you go as a pair) the same for paragliding. If you want to save money then all that's left is a swim in the murky water of Las Vistas, trying to find a spot so as not to be targeted by balls, paddles, etc. Obviously behind the beach you will find dozens of English, Scottish, Welsh, Northern Irish pubs etc. where you can eat standard fast food, drink ice-cold beer spending like at Mc Donald's. In the evening we decide to return to Los Cristianos and look for some typical Spanish restaurant, maybe some nice tavern where there are no tourists and where the staff don't have menus in 20 languages. Walking in the pedestrian center of Los Cristianos at the end of Avenida Luis XXIII on the right there is an uphill street with an anonymous place.

A few wooden tables outside, a small counter inside. We read the menu outside (only in Spanish) and we let ourselves be convinced. The owner is a little old man of at least 80 years, very slow in service, almost exasperating for the time that passes between the order and the dish. We realize that we are the only patrons of the place and some doubt begins to rise from our stomach?we order two paellas and wait a good 40 minutes?then the little old man appears with two large plates of seafood and chicken paella. The sight is exceptional but the flavor?let's say that Buitoni packets are definitely better! Not that it's bad but the fish is clearly frozen and the rice hasn't really been creamed, it feels like eating white Chinese rice and frozen fish. Bad dinner, the price fortunately doesn't betray expectations and with €25 we get by.

To make up for it, back at the Green Park prison, we get two cocktails and spend an hour by the pool chatting. But the evening that started badly ends, by tradition, worse. In the middle of the night the English neighbors start a fierce argument between one floor and another of the residence! Big words and insults fly?the triggering reason is that often the younger ones go to the disco and come back at 5 in the morning making an incredible racket?furniture being moved, screams, banging on the walls?until 7 when they collapse on the floor. But that night one neighbor couldn't take it anymore and (rightly in my opinion) went crazy, yelling and threatening the neighbor?only at dawn did the situation calm down, obviously without anyone from the residence staff lifting a finger to restore order or call the police!

Las Teresitas and Santa Cruz

We decide to go see a beach north of Santa Cruz de Tenerife. Obviously before making this little trip we ask the residence staff, who confirm that it is one of the most famous beaches on the island. Indeed, Las Teresitas appears on all the Tenerife brochures and looks rather beautiful. Ok, no sooner said than done, we set off toward Santa Cruz. It's about 120 km to get to the beach but we also take the opportunity to take a look at Santa Cruz. The capital of Tenerife is a crazy chaos of cars, roadworks, roads with 4 lanes in each direction?it's not easy to get out of it unscathed. We manage after getting lost at least 4 times?we find the north direction for San Andrés, a small town right on Las Teresitas beach. From Santa Cruz it's about ten kilometers, during which you drive along the port (huge) and a pozzolana quarry (gigantic).

Behind the beach, which is a couple of kilometers long, there is a large parking lot but keep in mind that you are near the capital and if you go on the weekend?then go very early because the large parking lot becomes insufficient for everyone! The beach is all of very white sand, but it is imported, that is, it comes from the nearby island of Fuerteventura. You will notice because the ground is hard, compact and moreover in front of the beach there is a breakwater barrier to prevent the sea from carrying away the precious loot accumulated with effort and ingenuity by man. The beach has numerous palm trees behind it, is equipped with lots of kiosks offering food and drinks, bathrooms and showers, and the inevitable sunbed rentals. You'd better settle in the northern part of the beach, toward the end because the central and southern parts get very crowded.

Sunbeds cost €2 each for the whole day and in my opinion you should rent at least one. The wind, fairly strong and constant throughout the day, makes your stay on the beach problematic if you are not raised above the sand. The sea is fairly clean but the presence of the breakwater a few dozen meters away, besides being unsightly, makes the water particularly shallow and not suitable for swimming. If you go all the way to Las Teresitas you can't not go on the cliff that overlooks it to take some photos. Continue the road north and after a few curves you will reach the promontory in front of San Andrés. You can admire a spectacular panorama and you will also realize that the beach that follows the promontory called Playa del Burro is actually a sort of crowded handkerchief of people fighting over every square meter.

In the afternoon we went for a stroll in Santa Cruz, in the pedestrian part of the city. We are very lucky, we find a parking spot near Plaza de España, even without paying anything. The center is all pedestrian: Calle Castillo, Calle Bethencourt Alfonso, Plaza de la Candelaria. All shops selling souvenirs and electronic goods. Regarding electronic goods, cameras and digital camcorders, a small aside is needed. In resort towns like Los Americas and Los Cristianos you will find dozens and

Pico de Teide

We have reached the last full day of our holiday in the Canaries and as the cherry on top we kept the (obligatory) visit to the Teide volcano for the last day, as mentioned the highest mountain in all of Spain. Seeing it from below you don't realise its height. It is located in the southern part of the island but in reality it influences the climate of all of Tenerife. It is often shrouded in clouds and you risk going to the summit to see nothing…this is one of the reasons why we kept it for the last day…the previous days didn't seem favourable for a visit to the mountain. Even the morning of 26 August doesn't look promising at all but time is up and we can't postpone. We set off early and head towards San Isidro. The road climbs quickly and the climbs make themselves felt on the Clio.

I do long stretches in first gear (!) and form behind me a small queue of SUVs ready to overtake me as soon as they get the chance. We pass Granadilla de Abona to take the C-821 state road which, passing through Vilaflor and the Boca del Tauce, arrives directly at the Parque National del Las Cañadas del Teide. The landscape is truly enchanting and as you climb you pass through the different mountain "layers": pines, firs and then the desolation of the Cañadas, the immense plains found over 2,000 m above sea level formed by lava and volcanic ash dating back to the last eruption of 1798. The landscape once you reach the base of the Pico del Teide is incredible: it feels like you have suddenly landed on the moon. You can even still clearly see the lava flow from the side of the volcano, a full 1 kilometre long. By car you will reach the base of the Pico at 2,356 m.

try to arrive early otherwise you will have two problems: the car park (too small for the number of tourists who go to visit the volcano) and above all the queue to enter the cable car that takes you to the summit. We arrived around 10.30 (consider that to get up there you need at least 1-1.5 hours by car) and we waited 30-40 minutes. But on the way back the expected wait had reached two hours! Remember that you will go above 3,500 metres and so don't do like the English tourists…little t-shirt and flip-flops because then you risk dying of cold! Jeans and a sweatshirt and a k-way are in my view obligatory. Also because the weather changes continuously with wind, rain and fog (I'm not joking). During the wait to enter the cable car we got plenty of rain and freezing wind generously donated by mother nature.

The cable car costs the modest sum of €22 per person and will take you to an altitude of 3,555 m in eight minutes (that's what they boast on a sign at the entrance). They will also give you a souvenir pin and take a (lousy) photo which, if you want to collect it, you will have to pay almost €10 for. Only once you reach the cable car will you find some nice multilingual signs warning you that it is not possible to go up right onto the cone of the Pico. That is, to reach the maximum altitude of 3,718 m. In fact to go up to the top you need a permit issued by the Park authorities whose office is over 100 km away (!), namely in Santa Cruz. So if you want to go up onto the cone you will have to go to Santa Cruz and apply.

The authority issues a maximum number of daily permits to avoid damaging the delicate ecosystem of the volcano and so you risk that your permit authorises you to go up when you are already back in Italy! Obviously the large groups of tourists have a mafia-style "priority" since they request these permits well in advance and so you will see them marching towards the summit. In reality I realised that I would have had difficulty doing those final 200 m. The air is very thin and the difficulties of climbing with little oxygen are by no means minimal. You need to be at least a little trained and equipped, also considering the rugged terrain and the sea-style rather than mountain clothing with which people arrive in the Canaries.

In any case, for all those who feel capable of doing it, I would like to point out option B to the cable car to reach at least the 3,555 metres of the volcano: the walking route. Totally free, it allows you not only to save the €22 of the ascent but also to get some excellent physical exercise. The climb takes about 5/6 hours (that's what the signs at the start of the trail indicate) and if in any case you want to stretch your legs to refresh yourself you can always buy the "one way" ticket, that is one way only for €11 and then walk down towards the car park. The descent takes about 3/4 hours. The cable car ticket allows you, once you reach your destination, to do a 40-minute route towards the viewpoint. Go slowly, because every effort is multiplied a hundredfold by the lack of oxygen.

There are many people who sit down and wait several minutes before recovering their strength to continue. Along the route there are also several guides who will assist you if you need it. To avoid barbaric hordes of tourists on the summit of the volcano, the ticket has a time limit which, if I remember correctly, is an hour and a half, after which you must turn back. The wind is very strong and I guarantee you that you will hardly find the strength and motivation to stay beyond the allotted time. In any case the fact remains that paying €22 to also be bound by time is in my opinion excessive. The weather wasn't exactly beautiful but we managed to see La Gomera, the island that lies opposite Tenerife. Lots of clouds and the strong wind made the stay on the Pico not exactly easy.

On the way back towards the sea we stopped at Vilaflor, the highest municipality in Spain at a good 1,500 metres above sea level. I guarantee you that after the altitude of the Teide it felt like being at the beach already. We stop in a small place to eat a sandwich (bocadillos) for €1.80 and a pepito (sandwich with cooked products) for €2.10. The place, for anyone who wants to go, is opposite the only petrol station in the little village. Once back at the residence we decide to spend the last part of the afternoon at the beach and we return to where we had started, namely Playa de la Tejita. It must have been 3.30pm and the weather was turning bad.

We take two sun loungers and hope that the little man won't come round to collect the money…but no sooner said than done, here he comes…damn, we have to pay…he walks past us, looks at us and says nothing! In fact our sun loungers were still "marked" and so we didn't have to pay…as we had guessed, the archaic payment system has numerous loopholes! In the evening, as a final dinner, we return to eat some excellent fish at San Luis in Los Cristianos. We wanted to end on a good note and we truly succeeded!

The journey home

Departure day. Our flight is at 19.00 and will take us to Gran Canaria where at 3 in the morning another flight will accompany us to Madrid where at 7.30 we will make the last leg towards Rome! What a lovely day awaits us! But in the end we are happy because we will enjoy the last day in full and then we will have all of Sunday to rest and to get back into the mindset of returning to work. We pack our bags, we take our leave of the residence with the temptation to request the comment form and fill it in properly…but then we told ourselves we weren't interested, we would never return there and so we let it go. We get in the car and head towards Santa Cruz. We want to spend at least part of the day at Las Teresitas beach. We get some sun, we have a nice swim and a nice shower, we dry our swimsuits and then we eat a sandwich at one of the kiosks behind the beach.

The kiosk is called El Ultimo because it really is the last in the row! And it is certainly one of the most affordable: bocadillos (any type) for €2 and a can (any type) for €1. We go to San Andrés and in the little square of the town we have one last zumo: house speciality with orange, pineapple and banana (€2.10). We go to visit the town of La Laguna which is between Santa Cruz and the airport. The guidebook praises this town describing its beauties and ancient history. Honestly it disappoints us quite a lot…very pretty but nothing special. The small cathedral doesn't open at the indicated time and for us it is getting late and we decide to leave. We stop at Decathlon along the motorway for one last attempt at shopping but this too comes to nothing, with prices in line with Italian ones.

We arrive at the airport at 18.00, we leave the car with the system described: park and keys in the letterbox (!) and then we check in for Gran Canaria. There is a lump in the throat because the end of the holiday is always very sad…once we arrive at Gran Canaria we spend 7 hours wandering among the shops (open all night, take that Fiumicino!) and sleeping on the armchairs. Thousands of tourists crowd the airport at night, with dozens of charter flights taking English and German people back home. Our Iberia flight leaves on time and then we arrive in Madrid from where we depart for Rome. No sooner said than done, 15 days have flown by. Tired but satisfied we return home, enriched by this latest experience. With the promise that we will return to the Canaries again, they really get into your blood! If you want more information don't hesitate to contact us. Hi everyone and happy Canaries